Memestruck Christmas Edition

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Usually paper, affixed to the package using only 1/4 ass power.

2. Real tree or artificial? In our near nine years of marriage, the wife and I have only had a tree once or twice. When we did, it was real. We once had a Christmas Nordic Track, though.

3. When do you put up the tree? Well, the Nordic Track was already there in front of the window; we just covered it with lights and tinsel. The decorations didn’t really get in the way, either, as the NT hadn't been used for months.

4. When do you take down the tree? If we had a tree, which we don't, it would probably take several weeks for us to get around to taking it down and that process would likely take a week to ten days to accomplish. When I was a kid, we once left a tree up `til March.

5. Do you like eggnog? I resent eggnog greatly. At some point in my childhood, after being denied a glass of it, probably because it was spiked, I resolved never to drink the stuff. Oh, people would offer it to me later and said it was just the best stuff ever, and would gush about their deep and abiding love for it, and tell me I wasn’t truly living unless I was chugging some of it down throughout the holiday season, but I would hear none of it. Then, my moms-in-law offered me a glass a couple of years back and I relented. Worst decision of my life. I find eggnog INCREDIBLY over-rated and SO not the end-all-be-all of tasty beverages people have been proclaiming in loud voices for most of my life. It wasn’t awful, by any means, but it sure didn’t live up to its billing in any way. And, yes, mine WAS spiked and was still not worth it! I just can't fathom why people have such passion for the stuff, in exactly the same way I would be mystified about people writing love sonnets to Ovaltine. I am left to assume that the only reason people drink eggnogg at all is that it’s a convenient vehicle for Captain Hodah's Spiced White Liquor.

6. Favorite gift received as a child? Probably my first Western Flyer bicycle, which my dad assembled in the back room of our house, knowing full well I would never find it because that’s where the monsters lived.

7. Hardest person to buy for? My mother-in-law, who has repeatedly demonstrates herself to be insightful when it comes to giving gifts to me and whom I feel guilty for not coming up with anything better.

8. Easiest person to buy for? The dog. Give her something she can shred and she’s happy.

9. Do you have a nativity scene? The wife collects them. So, yes, though not one in the yard.

10. Mail or email Christmas cards? We like the idea of cards, and buy them nearly every year. Filling them out and mailing them, we’re not so great at. Email works better.

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Probably underwear.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? A Christmas Story. My wife and in-laws had never seen it until about four years ago, and I sat `em down and made them watch it during TBS’s marathon day of it.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? We’ve had a bit of a moratorium on buying Christmas presents in both of our families for the past several years. I say that, but every single year, word comes down NO PRESENTS EXCEPT FOR THE LITTLE KIDS and every single year I wind up getting several presents anyway and feel awful I didn’t get anything for anyone. I've already bought a couple of gifts for the wife and have managed to keep her from finding out what they are.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas gift? No. Unless by "recycled" you mean "buried beneath the compost heap.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmastime? Nuts & Bolts and Chicken Curry Dip.

6. Lights on the tree? Yes.

17. Favorite Christmas Song? "Little Drummer Boy," either the Jars of Clay version or Bob Segar’s. A really good rendition of that song can destroy me. A bad version makes me very angry. (Yeah, I'm lookin' at you, Destiny's Child).

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Travel. I can probably count on three fingers the number of Christmases spent at home and might not even need all three fingers. Looks like this year will be a home for the holidays year, though.

19. Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer? Yes. Even Roberta.

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? Vorlon.

21. Open presents on Christmas Eve or morning? We were always morning people, growing up, but the wife’s clan likes a good Christmas Eve opening.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? Stressing over presents when it should really be about the food.

23. Favorite ornament theme or color? My mom used to make a lot of ornaments. She had a Santa Doll and made a sleigh for it as well as tiny wrapped presents, some of which had stuff inside them for curious kids to find. I miss all that stuff. Beyond that, I’m waiting to try out my Serenity ornament, from Firefly, this year.

24. Favorite for Christmas Dessert? My in-laws' sweet potato casserole is pretty much perfect, though a new favorite would be Pecan Pie Bars.

25. What do you want for Christmas this year? A Red Rider B-… oh, wait. I dunno. A Flight Control TARDIS toy?

26. Who is most likely to respond to this? Um... Marcus?

27. Favorite Holiday Tradition? Eating a stupid amount of food. Keeping it all down.