Once Upon a Time (Part 7)

Two months passed.

The scribe waited for the call from the Link of Sudden (Suddenlink Cable Systems, for any Suddenlink agents paying attention on the lookout for bad publicity about Suddenlink--which begins HERE), but no call ever came. And this despite the assertion from Amber, the last Suddenlink rep the scribe had spoken to, that she would follow up on the situation to make sure the much fabled call she promised would come actually did. There was no call. Not from Leon. Not from the supervisor from Borderland. Not from Amber herself. Not from anyone. And, of course, after 17 previous promises of a call from Suddenlink that had gone entirely unfulfilled, the scribe had not actually been expecting one to occur.

During that two months span of continued lack of calls from Suddenlink, the scribe and his goodly wife continued to enjoy their new castle even though the only internet service they could receive was via their cell phones' 3g hotspot. They also continued to attempt to sell their previous castle.

Back in February, they hired the real-estate agent who had held the listing on their previous castle when they had purchased it four years prior. She assured them that not only would it likely sell within 90 days but also that due to the improvements they had made it would sell for a nice bit of money over what they'd paid. The scribe and his wife decided to put it on the market for 186 beans, figuring that between offers and counter offers the castle would sell between 178 and 182 beans. The old castle began showing and within a month of hitting the market got its first offer for… 160 beans. This was disappointing, but it was a start. A low-ball offer was not something they feared, for they themselves had SERIOUSLY low-balled their first bean offer on the new castle and that had worked out fine. There was room to maneuver. The trouble was, the potential buyers were not only low-balling but were requiring the castle sale be contingent on the sale of their own castle, a deal that would effectively have taken the scribe’s castle off the market for the better part of prime selling season. That would be fine, but only if the offer were MUCH better.

The scribe and wife countered at 183 beans, which showed they were willing to drop the price, but kept it in the neighborhood they wanted. The potential then countered to 163 beans. Disgusted, the scribe countered that they would be willing to sell the castle for 178 beans and not one bean less. The potential buyer said they would be willing to buy the castle for 169 beans and not one bean more. The scribe then countered by offering them their choice of which of his supple ass cheeks they could smooch. The non-buyers declined further negotiation. Time passed.

In late May, word came of a new offer on the castle, this time a reasonable one. The offer came in at 170 beans-in-hand, which meant actual beans being passed and not contingent on the loaning of beans from a bean-loaning establishment. Even at the much lower figure (which was actually the same bean figure the scribe and wife had bought the place for when they purchased it) a bean-in-hand offer was a serious one to consider. It meant a lot less hassle to getting the place sold with a lot fewer chances of someone saying “no” along the way. However, the amount was still too low for the amount of work the scribe and his goodly wife had done to the place. They countered with 178 beans, expecting to have to eventually drop down to 176. But the 178 beans was accepted right out.

It took nearly a month for all of the inspections to be completed and for some reasonable requests for additional improvements to be made.

Before these could be accomplished, though, a great wind came along and nearly wiped the place out.