In this blog's previous incarnation, I chronicled several of my futile attempts to keep surprises a surprise for my wife when it comes to presents or special events. I also chronicled one or two times when I managed to actually pull it off. Often these adventures revolved around my attempts to keep special anniversary plans a secret and her near-psychic ability to see right into my wee brain and pull them out.
With our 10 year anniversary coming up in a few months, I knew my secret plans would need to be of a substantial nature, even more shored up than usual and prepared well in advance. In fact, I've been contemplating this plan for the past few years, but actually put it into effect within the past month. My plan was this: for our anniversary I would take my wife on a trip to Gatlinburg, TN, where we would spend a long weekend, staying in the exact same cabin we rented for our honeymoon, lo a decade ago. Now, from my spilling of the beans in the previous sentence, you can guess how secret this is now. Once again, the early reveal was thanks to my wife's meddling and my own dumb mouth.
Lemme back up.
The wife and I have talked about returning to our honeymoon cabin in Gatlinburg on many occasions over the past ten years. We originally thought it would be a good five year anniversary gift, but we instead went on a mission trip to Central America that year, so that was right out. And while we thought about the cabin for subsequent years, it seemed to me that it fit best for the 10 year anniversary, so that's been my plan.
Around a month back, I decided it would be wise to go ahead and reserve the cabin. Trouble was, I couldn't remember the name of the cabin rental company we'd used. I tried to look through various Gatlinburg rental places online, looking through pictures to see if I could find our, but there are dozens of rental companies online and none of the cabins looked right. Fortunately, I recalled that I had used the same rental company as my friends Matthew and Beth had used for their honeymoon a few years before mine. Matthew graciously dug around in his attic until he found some old records and was able to pull the name for me. Sure enough, a couple of clicks later and I'd found our honeymoon cabin. A phone call later and I had reserved it.
That accomplished, I began musing on how exactly I would actually surprise the wife with this knowledge. I didn't see an easy way to do it. I mean, I figured I could keep it a surprise for a while, but eventually she was going to start asking anniversary plan questions, which I'd have to admit to having made in order to avoid her making some of her own. And because my plan was pretty much the most obvious anniversary plan I could have made, she would instantly know the details of it. Worse yet, the longer I waited to tell her, the more likely she'd start making secret plans of her own that would compete with mine. Even in a best case scenario--say, I made it to January without the surprise being spoiled--how was I really planning to break the good news to her? Put her in the car and start driving south and NOT have her immediately know what was up?
No, my best bet would be to tell her the whole thing much earlier, but do it in a classy and romantic manner befitting the occasion. I could take her out to dinner one night, have a nice romantic meal, and maybe slip her a card at some point, one containing the reservation all printed up on nice paper. Yeah. That would be sweet.
About a week ago, the wife began making noises about a vacation. And not just a let's get out of town for the weekend vacation, but a full on let's GO somewhere, perhaps even out of the country, maybe for a week or two kind of vacation. I knew from the look in her eyes that she was serious. When she's serious she starts making plans and getting itchy for decisions to be made and things to be set in stone. Trouble is, our schedule's kind of tight through November, then there are the holidays getting in the way through the end of the year, and it's no good waiting til next spring when you want a vacation NOW, so I knew this proposed trip was soon going to fall solidly in our anniversary window. Sure enough, last night, after seeing an ad for Puerto Rico on TV, the wife began researching trips. Soon the word "cruise" was uttered. We're not really "cruise" sort of people, but then again we've never been on one. Also, we like water and boats and we understand there's food to be had 24/7. The wife began to research them. But because cruises run on schedules and schedules come with dates, there were soon questions to me as to when would be a good time, which conflicts we already had in place, etc., and then I heard the words I knew were coming: "Why don't we go for our anniversary?"
Now, in retrospect, there were probably a few things I could have done to deflect attention away from the anniversary, like developing a sudden infatuation with a Christmas cruise, or maybe faking a seizure. No good options occurred to me in that moment, though, so I said, "Um, someone might already have made plans for our anniversary."
To which the wife replied, "Oh, did someone rent a cabin in Gatlinburg?"
"Er... someone might have."
"You already rented it?"
"Maybe."
"When?"
"About a month ago."
The wife was instantly delighted. (In fact, a more suspicious person might suspect she cooked up the whole cruise thing as an excuse to get me to divulge anniversary plans, but this would be a suspicious person who had not seen that look of vacation desperation in her eyes earlier.) She said it was the perfect anniversary trip, to a beautiful place (left largely uncrowded by our choice of getting married in the off-season) and was the most appropriate place we could have gone.
Naturally, for the next couple of hours, I cursed my lack of brain power in not coming up with a suitable dodge, but really the information would have had to come out fairly soon anyway and she didn't care. As she pointed out, she could either be surprised now or later, it didn't really matter when.
We've still not planned our cruise, nor its destination, nor if it will be a cruise at all. We're not so much married to the cruise as a vacation concept, but would like to go somewhere that we can see cool stuff and eat good food.
Suggestions welcome.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Planetary surprise
One of my favorite comics of the last decade has been Planetary by Warren Ellis and John Cassaday. Beyond introducing me to the wonderful art of Cassaday, who remains one of my favorite comics artists of all time, Planetary also introduced me to the storytelling style of Warren Ellis, whose work I followed into Stormwatch, The Authority, Transmetropolitan, Global Frequency, Fell, Red, Orbiter, Desolation Jones and other such high quality books. (I recently purchased his first novel, Crooked Little Vein, which I'll likely read soon.)
Planetary is the story of a decades old global organization of the same name, dedicated to the task of being archaeologists of the strange. Beyond the dozens of offices it has in major cities across the planet, from which a wealth of resources can be summoned, Planetary also consists of a team of three field operatives who do the active investigating. As of the first issue, the status quo includes Jakita Wagner, a near indestructible, super-fast woman in an Emma-Peel style leather suit, who is capable of drop-kicking a rhino across the grand canyon; the Drummer, a kid who's more than a bit crazy, but who's capable of conversing with technology and information systems using two drum sticks; and Elijah Snow, a century-old man in a white suit with memory issues and the ability to alter temperature. Set against Planetary as its major adversary is a group called The Four, who basically have exactly the same origin as the Fantastic Four if the FF was staffed by super-genius murderers and sociopaths out to keep all the world's great mysteries for themselves. (Ironically, Ellis eventually was hired to write Ultimate Fantastic Four, Marvel Comics allegedly being unaware of what he'd already done to analogs of the characters for another company.) All of the analog activity makes sense not only in a "let's not violate someone else's copyright, but use their characters anyway" manner, but also in that the concept of parallel earths plays a pretty big part in the story overall.
I've greatly enjoyed the series, but the major drawback to it has been its wildly erratic publishing schedule. Ostensibly a bi-monthly book at its outset in 1999, Planetary became far less frequent pretty quickly due to a variety of reasons, including Ellis' going through an illness and Cassaday becoming more popular and sought-after. But it's slowly but surely kept going, even though years have gone by between issues sometimes. In a month or so, the final issue, #27, is slated to be published, wrapping up the story Ellis and Cassaday started a decade ago. In anticipation of that event, I've been going back and re-reading all my old issues. I don't have any of the earliest six issues, but I do have the first TPB of them (signed by Ellis, even). It's been a great time revisiting the story and discovering new layers along the way, but I made an even more startling discovery this morning when I sat down to reread Planetary #22. Turns out, I'd never read that particular issue the first time. With each page, I kept scratching my head that none of it seemed at all familiar, especially when it came to revealing the origin of the Shadow analog from issue #1, a character I had always wanted to know more about. (The issue also features a dark Lone Ranger style figure that's very well done.)
I'm not exactly sure how I failed to read an issue that I owned of one of my favorite comic books. Most likely, it came out the same week a bunch of other books did and got set into a pile somewhere, forgotten and not uncovered until later on, at which point I probably assumed I'd read it and put it away. It still made for a very nice surprise and filled in some gaps for me in the overall story.
There are currently four collections of Planetary on the market, three collecting the actual series but for the remaining issues, and one collecting the crossovers Planetary has done with the Authority, the Justice League and Batman. An Absolute Edition of most of the current material has also been published, but has been out of print for a while. From what I read, the plan is to rerelease the first Absolute and then publish a second one to contain the rest, sometime soonafter the final issue sees print.
You can take a look at the final cover image at the top of this article. In its details you can see pretty much the whole story played out, though not in such a way as would cause any spoilers. One of them is a dangling plot thread from an early issue that I wonder if Ellis will tie up in the final issue. Not that it will mean anything to nonreaders, but the thread in question can be seen at 12 o'clock in the cover image. We'll see.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Actual Telephone Conversations Heard in My Car #4 (a.k.a. "Violating Best Intentions Already")
The HOSS-3000 is in the shop. I haven't heard the diagnosis yet, but I suspect it's CPU may have a terminal condition that may or may not be related to its liquid-cooling system being low on coolant. We'll see. Fortunately, the wife has a laptop.
While dropping HOSS off at the repair place, my cell phone rang. It was the wife. I called her back and noted that her voice sounded very sad, bordering on tears. It was exactly the tone one might expect from someone who's just been phoned and given news of the death of a beloved relative and is now passing on that news. I braced for the worst.
THE WIFE-- I have bad news.
ME-- Okay.
THE WIFE-- (Practically choking back tears) They brought in Indian food today.
ME-- Shit. I thought you were about to tell me REALLY bad news.
THE WIFE-- It is! I want some!
ME-- So eat some Indian food. It'll be okay.
THE WIFE-- You want some, too?
ME-- (Pausing to consider for approximately .2 seconds) Well, I am in the neighborhood.
THE WIFE-- See you in a sec.
While dropping HOSS off at the repair place, my cell phone rang. It was the wife. I called her back and noted that her voice sounded very sad, bordering on tears. It was exactly the tone one might expect from someone who's just been phoned and given news of the death of a beloved relative and is now passing on that news. I braced for the worst.
THE WIFE-- I have bad news.
ME-- Okay.
THE WIFE-- (Practically choking back tears) They brought in Indian food today.
ME-- Shit. I thought you were about to tell me REALLY bad news.
THE WIFE-- It is! I want some!
ME-- So eat some Indian food. It'll be okay.
THE WIFE-- You want some, too?
ME-- (Pausing to consider for approximately .2 seconds) Well, I am in the neighborhood.
THE WIFE-- See you in a sec.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Actual Telephone Conversations Heard at My House #3
*RING*
ME-- Hello?
CHARITY TELEMARKETER-- Hello, is this the residence of Mrs. AARON?
ME-- Yes. I'm afraid she's not here, right now, though. Can I take a message?
CHARITY TELEMARKETER-- May I ask who this is?
ME-- Mister AARON.
CHARITY TELEMARKETER-- Mr. AARON, I'm calling on behalf of the (INSERT CHILDREN'S CHARITY). How are you today?
ME-- Okaaaay. I do feel I need to tell you up front that we have a strict policy of not accepting telephone solicitation of any kind.
CHARITY TELEMARKETER-- We understand, sir. In these economic times, we know how difficult it is to give to every cause. But if you could help us out with a gift of $25, it would mean so much to the children. We will send you all the information you need through the mail.
ME-- (Trying to remain polite) I'm afraid we'll have to decline at this time. As I mentioned, we don't accept telephone solicitation of any kind.
CHARITY TELEMARKETER-- We understand, sir. In these economic times, we know how difficult it is to give to every cause. But if you could help us out with a gift of $25, it would mean so much to the children. We will send you...
ME-- (Amazed at the brass-balled audacity to just read the exact same card at me again. Still I remain as polite in tone as I can.) Again, we're going to decline. I've already explained to you that we don't accept telephone solicitation of any kind twice. Thank you for your time.
CHARITY TELEMARKETER-- We understand, sir. In these economic times, we know how difficult it is to give to every cause. But if you could help us out...
ME-- I'm going to hang up now.
CHARITY TELEMARKETER-- ... it would mean so much to the children.
ME-- You have a nice day.
*CLICK*
ME-- Hello?
CHARITY TELEMARKETER-- Hello, is this the residence of Mrs. AARON?
ME-- Yes. I'm afraid she's not here, right now, though. Can I take a message?
CHARITY TELEMARKETER-- May I ask who this is?
ME-- Mister AARON.
CHARITY TELEMARKETER-- Mr. AARON, I'm calling on behalf of the (INSERT CHILDREN'S CHARITY). How are you today?
ME-- Okaaaay. I do feel I need to tell you up front that we have a strict policy of not accepting telephone solicitation of any kind.
CHARITY TELEMARKETER-- We understand, sir. In these economic times, we know how difficult it is to give to every cause. But if you could help us out with a gift of $25, it would mean so much to the children. We will send you all the information you need through the mail.
ME-- (Trying to remain polite) I'm afraid we'll have to decline at this time. As I mentioned, we don't accept telephone solicitation of any kind.
CHARITY TELEMARKETER-- We understand, sir. In these economic times, we know how difficult it is to give to every cause. But if you could help us out with a gift of $25, it would mean so much to the children. We will send you...
ME-- (Amazed at the brass-balled audacity to just read the exact same card at me again. Still I remain as polite in tone as I can.) Again, we're going to decline. I've already explained to you that we don't accept telephone solicitation of any kind twice. Thank you for your time.
CHARITY TELEMARKETER-- We understand, sir. In these economic times, we know how difficult it is to give to every cause. But if you could help us out...
ME-- I'm going to hang up now.
CHARITY TELEMARKETER-- ... it would mean so much to the children.
ME-- You have a nice day.
*CLICK*
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
The New Program (Pound Five)
In our emergency backup shipment we ordered chili, beefy vegetable, Maryland crab soup and cream of tomato soup flavors; hot cocoa and chai tea flavored hot drinks; and nacho-chili-cheese puffs.
THE NEW SOUPS-- I'm happy to say we really like almost all the new soups. The chili, while naturally not as good as a real bowl of chili (you know, with diced onions, real beef, and lots of cheese), is still pretty enjoyable stuff. It has actual beans in it as well as a soy-based substance that approximates ground beef and adds to the over all heartiness of the dish. The instructions for preparing it also suggest additional spices are a good idea, so I tend to add more cumin and chili powder to the mix. The only real downside to the chili is that it uses only half a cup of water rather than the standard full cup in order to make it thicker. And while the chili is just as filling, it's hard to wrap your brain around the fact that you're only getting half the usual volume. The Maryland Crab Soup is also good and does indeed taste crabby. I just went and stole one of the wife's cream of tomato soups and tried it. It's very reminiscent of any brand of powdered tomato soup and is satisfying in that regard. I just went and stole one of the wife's beefy vegetable soups to try. She probably won't complain, as she's tried it a couple of times and isn't a fan. I, however, prepared it with some low sodium beef broth and found it to taste as good and beefy as one would hope a powdered soup could. I may trade her my extra box of chicken noodle for it.
THE NEW HOT DRINKS-- Since we liked the cappuccino flavored hot drink so well, we ordered hot cocoa and chai tea flavors to try them out. The hot cocoa is, to me, indistinguishable from Swiss Miss powdered cocoa, albeit without the tasty mini-marshmallows. The chai tea is also very nice. In fact, I told the wife that I would be happy to drink something just like it in an Indian restaurant and would never know the difference. I'd order more of both.
NACHO CHILI CHEESE PUFFS-- I'm a big fan of things that are crunchy, particularly things that are crunchy and cheesy and spicy at the same time. Now, Medifast does offer pretzels--a major crunch favorite of mine--but they only come in cinnamon and honey mustard flavors so I declined to order them. Instead, I ordered the nacho chili cheese puffs. When I ordered them, I thought they would basically be a soy-flour version of a Cheeto. They're not as airy, though and come off in consistency more like a Cheeto/Chili Cheese Frito hybrid, which is just fine by me. Taste-wise, they're sort of similar to my hybrid simile, but still doesn't quite reach the best of both worlds "Freeto" scenario. Still, they are not bad and if you're jonesing for something snacky and crunchy they can fill the void for you. Quantity-wise, you might expect that with a diet food there would only be, like, four of them in a given bag. However, Medifast to their infinite credit actually packs their bags pretty full. I'd say there are 30 or 40 of them, each about the size of a Crunch-Berry, per bag. I'll order more of these and might try the other flavors of puff offered.
As for our "real" meal of the day, after dining on four packet meals, getting to eat real food for supper really gives one an appreciation for how much we all take our food for granted. The real meal is supposed to consist of a meat and three veggies, though the amount of each is entirely dependent on what they are. For instance, I could eat seven ounces of fish, six ounces of chicken or five ounces of beef--which is the weight after cooking. Veggies, too, have different limitations, but usually come in half-cup sized portions. The good thing is that there are Medifast real meal recipes aplenty available online with some pretty tasty ideas for ways to stick to it. (The real victim of this diet, however, is our dog Sadie, who no longer gets to have any dog-taxes from our plates whatsoever, cause damn if we're giving any of our food.)
As of this writing, I've lost 19 pounds since the start. I might be further along than that, but we gave ourselves a day of cheating last weekend because we were meeting old friends for Indian Food and pretty much abused the buffet there in our haste to stuff as much of it into our gullets as possible. But, I feel like I rebounded pretty good from that. And 19 pounds in two and a half weeks is nothing to scoff at. I imagine the loss will slow somewhat, but I'll be content with the 2-5 pounds per week the diet suggests.
Over all I have to give Medifast a good rating. I certainly don't get the variety of food I did with Atkins, but at the same time I don't have to worry about what I'm going to eat or if I have the ingredients to prepare it but for one meal out of the day.
The trouble with people on diets, particularly ones that are working, is that it can become a source of obsession. (That's kind of the mindset I've found helps me, at least.) Unfortunately, being in that mindset, the diet and weight loss can become the only topic such obsessed dieters tend to talk about. I know I've been guilty of that in the past. Not wanting to be THAT GUY any more than I already have, I plan to stop. In other words, unless a wildly delicious or heinous new Medifast product worthy of review enters my life or unless I lose all the weight I want (or give up on it altogether) this will hopefully be the last you read about it here.
You're welcome.
THE NEW SOUPS-- I'm happy to say we really like almost all the new soups. The chili, while naturally not as good as a real bowl of chili (you know, with diced onions, real beef, and lots of cheese), is still pretty enjoyable stuff. It has actual beans in it as well as a soy-based substance that approximates ground beef and adds to the over all heartiness of the dish. The instructions for preparing it also suggest additional spices are a good idea, so I tend to add more cumin and chili powder to the mix. The only real downside to the chili is that it uses only half a cup of water rather than the standard full cup in order to make it thicker. And while the chili is just as filling, it's hard to wrap your brain around the fact that you're only getting half the usual volume. The Maryland Crab Soup is also good and does indeed taste crabby. I just went and stole one of the wife's cream of tomato soups and tried it. It's very reminiscent of any brand of powdered tomato soup and is satisfying in that regard. I just went and stole one of the wife's beefy vegetable soups to try. She probably won't complain, as she's tried it a couple of times and isn't a fan. I, however, prepared it with some low sodium beef broth and found it to taste as good and beefy as one would hope a powdered soup could. I may trade her my extra box of chicken noodle for it.
THE NEW HOT DRINKS-- Since we liked the cappuccino flavored hot drink so well, we ordered hot cocoa and chai tea flavors to try them out. The hot cocoa is, to me, indistinguishable from Swiss Miss powdered cocoa, albeit without the tasty mini-marshmallows. The chai tea is also very nice. In fact, I told the wife that I would be happy to drink something just like it in an Indian restaurant and would never know the difference. I'd order more of both.
NACHO CHILI CHEESE PUFFS-- I'm a big fan of things that are crunchy, particularly things that are crunchy and cheesy and spicy at the same time. Now, Medifast does offer pretzels--a major crunch favorite of mine--but they only come in cinnamon and honey mustard flavors so I declined to order them. Instead, I ordered the nacho chili cheese puffs. When I ordered them, I thought they would basically be a soy-flour version of a Cheeto. They're not as airy, though and come off in consistency more like a Cheeto/Chili Cheese Frito hybrid, which is just fine by me. Taste-wise, they're sort of similar to my hybrid simile, but still doesn't quite reach the best of both worlds "Freeto" scenario. Still, they are not bad and if you're jonesing for something snacky and crunchy they can fill the void for you. Quantity-wise, you might expect that with a diet food there would only be, like, four of them in a given bag. However, Medifast to their infinite credit actually packs their bags pretty full. I'd say there are 30 or 40 of them, each about the size of a Crunch-Berry, per bag. I'll order more of these and might try the other flavors of puff offered.
As for our "real" meal of the day, after dining on four packet meals, getting to eat real food for supper really gives one an appreciation for how much we all take our food for granted. The real meal is supposed to consist of a meat and three veggies, though the amount of each is entirely dependent on what they are. For instance, I could eat seven ounces of fish, six ounces of chicken or five ounces of beef--which is the weight after cooking. Veggies, too, have different limitations, but usually come in half-cup sized portions. The good thing is that there are Medifast real meal recipes aplenty available online with some pretty tasty ideas for ways to stick to it. (The real victim of this diet, however, is our dog Sadie, who no longer gets to have any dog-taxes from our plates whatsoever, cause damn if we're giving any of our food.)
As of this writing, I've lost 19 pounds since the start. I might be further along than that, but we gave ourselves a day of cheating last weekend because we were meeting old friends for Indian Food and pretty much abused the buffet there in our haste to stuff as much of it into our gullets as possible. But, I feel like I rebounded pretty good from that. And 19 pounds in two and a half weeks is nothing to scoff at. I imagine the loss will slow somewhat, but I'll be content with the 2-5 pounds per week the diet suggests.
Over all I have to give Medifast a good rating. I certainly don't get the variety of food I did with Atkins, but at the same time I don't have to worry about what I'm going to eat or if I have the ingredients to prepare it but for one meal out of the day.
The trouble with people on diets, particularly ones that are working, is that it can become a source of obsession. (That's kind of the mindset I've found helps me, at least.) Unfortunately, being in that mindset, the diet and weight loss can become the only topic such obsessed dieters tend to talk about. I know I've been guilty of that in the past. Not wanting to be THAT GUY any more than I already have, I plan to stop. In other words, unless a wildly delicious or heinous new Medifast product worthy of review enters my life or unless I lose all the weight I want (or give up on it altogether) this will hopefully be the last you read about it here.
You're welcome.
Monday, August 3, 2009
The New Program (Pound Four)
As I said, we each ordered a Medifast sampler pack, (which we did using a couple of MediFast coupons we found online, that basically gave us $100 off the total order, which would have been $600 otherwise). If I'd taken the time to see what was included in the sampler pack to begin with I might have skipped the sampler and just ordered individual boxes of meals, but I was dumb and didn't even look at it. The majority of items present in the sampler are in shake or meal bar form. But there are other forms included as well. Below are my general feelings on each category, in case any of you folks are interested in trying them out. (And in case any MediFast online feedback lurker agents are also reading. I say this because after I hinted at two slightly negative words about Suddenlink, a few weeks back, I was immediately contacted by their customer service folks to see if they could assist. Impressive.)
THE MEAL BARS-- these are of the same puffed-soy consistency as many other power and/or meal-bars on the market, only a bit smaller than most. I was used to eating these kind of bars on Atkins, so the transition was no biggie. I'm happy to say they're all pretty tasty. The peanut butter flavor is especially good, as is the cinnamon roll and oatmeal raisin varieties. I'd order all three of those again. Strawberry crunch and lemon meringue are not quite as good, but far from bad and perfectly easy to eat--though I'd probably not order them again just cause I like the first three better. One flavor I had not tried until this morning is the chocolate mint. Chocolate mint is a flavor I don't generally like in real-food and, once upon a time, hated so much that the mere smell of a Junior Mint made me sick. I suspected I would hate them in soy bar form, but I was wrong. Just finished off my mid-morning meal bar in chocolate mint flavor and found it delightful and refreshing, particularly paired with coffee. Would never have guessed it. Overall I really dig the bars and find them to be tasty and filling.
THE SHAKES-- The variety pack came with two French Vanilla and two Dutch Chocolate shake boxes, and one box each of Strawberry, Orange Cream, Banana Cream and Cappuccino. For me, the best of these are the Dutch Chocolate and Cappuccino (which is actually designed to be a hot-drink, though it's perfectly fine cold), which both taste great and make shakes that I can sit and savor over the course of ten minutes or so. I would order both of these again. They're also both great mixed in coffee. Next down the line in taste quality are the Orange Creme and Banana, which are decent enough, but not as much as the previous two. I expected to hate the banana, which I suspected would taste like Banana Runts, but it was actually not bad at all. Don't know that I'd reorder either, but again this is personal taste. The vanilla and strawberry varieties, however, are pretty much of the devil. The strawberry is an especially hateful mix. I liken it to how I imagine it would be to lick Frankenberry's ass crack. It's packed with the same flavor mixture as most strawberry-flavored whey protein mixes I've encountered, which is reminiscent of the Frankenberry cereal, but, by design, without the sugar to back it up. I can only consume this by chugging it while holding my nose and then I immediately have to brush my teeth and gargle with mouthwash. Horrid. Vanilla is only debatably better. It has the standard vanilla flavor of most vanilla whey protein powders, which I can tolerate better than strawberry, but there's something else in there that just doesn't work for me. I have found, however, that it is not a bad base shake in which to add flavors, such as lemon extract, making it taste like a lemon smoothy--which I find to be acceptable though far from "yummy." It's also tolerable when mixed into coffee and is especially inoffensive mixed into chamomile tea. Mostly, though, I just mix it up straight and chug it to get it over with, though even method is problematic. My original theory was to mix the minimum of water into the mix powder so that I wasn't spending a lot of time drinking it. What I got, however, was a concentrated mixture of everything I hated. Experimentation has proven that adding more water than the mix calls for is the better option and is far more palatable. Bottom line, I can't envision ordering more vanilla or strawberry ever again.
THE EGGS--While they're definitely powdered eggs, they're actually better than most other powdered eggs I've encountered in the wild. They're not exactly yummy by themselves, but they serve as a good vehicle for seasoning and are not bad with a little salsa on top. I'd order them again.
THE SOUPS-- We got the chicken noodle and chicken and rice powdered soups, both of which are quite good. Chicken noodle is the best, especially if prepared in low-sodium broth. The chicken and rice flavor is not quite as good, and has kind of a sweet aftertaste to it that I don't care for, but it's certainly not in tolerable. You can also add your own celery, which is counted among the handful of "snack" foods you're allowed to choose from during any given day. (The others are 1/2 cup sugar-free Jello, a sugar-free popsicle, 2 dill pickle spears, or a spoon of dirt. I'm kidding about that last one, but that's what it feels like sometimes. MediFast also offers a number of snack crackers, but none of them came in our sampler box.)
THE OATMEALS-- I initially thought I'd have good things to report about the oatmeals, but I'm afraid I just can't do it. We received a box of maple & brown sugar and a box of apple cinnamon, with a freebie packet of blueberry thrown in. Don't get me wrong, the first bite you take of the oatmeal--whichever flavor, really--is just heavenly and you say to yourself, "Oh, that's really really good stuff. I could eat that for breakfast every day! I'm gonna be just fine on this diet after all." Each subsequent bite, however, offers diminishing returns that can be violent in the suddenness of their appearance, depending on the flavor. Even with that first delicious bite, there's a bitter aftertaste that you may not even notice unless you're looking for it. Then, with each subsequent bite, that aftertaste gets stronger until the final bites are nothing but aftertaste. It's like the flavoring has a half life of about a minute. This is especially true for the apple cinnamon flavor, but to a slightly lesser degree in the maple & brown sugar. (Blueberry flavor, for me, wasn't enjoyable on any level from the start, but I might not have added enough water to it.) In fact, while writing this, I just went and ate a maple & brown sugar (different day from the mid-morning meal of the chocolate mint bar mentioned above) to see if I could quantify what made it awful. It certainly wasn't quite as awful as the apple cinnamon that I ate the other morning, but still far from great by the end of the bowl. Don't think I'll order any more breakfast cereals.
THE PUDDINGS--the sampler came with a box of chocolate puddings and freebie packets of both vanilla and banana. Again, chocolate is best, though kind of slimy in consistency. Vanilla is like a concentrated form of the vanilla shake and not at all to my liking. Banana, which is my favorite flavor of pudding in real life, was not as good as the banana shake. I might order more chocolate pudding, but frankly I'd rather eat Jello.
Now, because we are not fans of a goodly portion of the above meal choices, a week or so back we made an emergency backup order of some of the other non-sampler-pack meals MediFast has to offer. Our goal was to help offset the ones we hate and hopefully find ones we like better that we can order more of down the line. I'm happy to say the experiment was a success.
(TO BE CONCLUDED...)
THE MEAL BARS-- these are of the same puffed-soy consistency as many other power and/or meal-bars on the market, only a bit smaller than most. I was used to eating these kind of bars on Atkins, so the transition was no biggie. I'm happy to say they're all pretty tasty. The peanut butter flavor is especially good, as is the cinnamon roll and oatmeal raisin varieties. I'd order all three of those again. Strawberry crunch and lemon meringue are not quite as good, but far from bad and perfectly easy to eat--though I'd probably not order them again just cause I like the first three better. One flavor I had not tried until this morning is the chocolate mint. Chocolate mint is a flavor I don't generally like in real-food and, once upon a time, hated so much that the mere smell of a Junior Mint made me sick. I suspected I would hate them in soy bar form, but I was wrong. Just finished off my mid-morning meal bar in chocolate mint flavor and found it delightful and refreshing, particularly paired with coffee. Would never have guessed it. Overall I really dig the bars and find them to be tasty and filling.
THE SHAKES-- The variety pack came with two French Vanilla and two Dutch Chocolate shake boxes, and one box each of Strawberry, Orange Cream, Banana Cream and Cappuccino. For me, the best of these are the Dutch Chocolate and Cappuccino (which is actually designed to be a hot-drink, though it's perfectly fine cold), which both taste great and make shakes that I can sit and savor over the course of ten minutes or so. I would order both of these again. They're also both great mixed in coffee. Next down the line in taste quality are the Orange Creme and Banana, which are decent enough, but not as much as the previous two. I expected to hate the banana, which I suspected would taste like Banana Runts, but it was actually not bad at all. Don't know that I'd reorder either, but again this is personal taste. The vanilla and strawberry varieties, however, are pretty much of the devil. The strawberry is an especially hateful mix. I liken it to how I imagine it would be to lick Frankenberry's ass crack. It's packed with the same flavor mixture as most strawberry-flavored whey protein mixes I've encountered, which is reminiscent of the Frankenberry cereal, but, by design, without the sugar to back it up. I can only consume this by chugging it while holding my nose and then I immediately have to brush my teeth and gargle with mouthwash. Horrid. Vanilla is only debatably better. It has the standard vanilla flavor of most vanilla whey protein powders, which I can tolerate better than strawberry, but there's something else in there that just doesn't work for me. I have found, however, that it is not a bad base shake in which to add flavors, such as lemon extract, making it taste like a lemon smoothy--which I find to be acceptable though far from "yummy." It's also tolerable when mixed into coffee and is especially inoffensive mixed into chamomile tea. Mostly, though, I just mix it up straight and chug it to get it over with, though even method is problematic. My original theory was to mix the minimum of water into the mix powder so that I wasn't spending a lot of time drinking it. What I got, however, was a concentrated mixture of everything I hated. Experimentation has proven that adding more water than the mix calls for is the better option and is far more palatable. Bottom line, I can't envision ordering more vanilla or strawberry ever again.
THE EGGS--While they're definitely powdered eggs, they're actually better than most other powdered eggs I've encountered in the wild. They're not exactly yummy by themselves, but they serve as a good vehicle for seasoning and are not bad with a little salsa on top. I'd order them again.
THE SOUPS-- We got the chicken noodle and chicken and rice powdered soups, both of which are quite good. Chicken noodle is the best, especially if prepared in low-sodium broth. The chicken and rice flavor is not quite as good, and has kind of a sweet aftertaste to it that I don't care for, but it's certainly not in tolerable. You can also add your own celery, which is counted among the handful of "snack" foods you're allowed to choose from during any given day. (The others are 1/2 cup sugar-free Jello, a sugar-free popsicle, 2 dill pickle spears, or a spoon of dirt. I'm kidding about that last one, but that's what it feels like sometimes. MediFast also offers a number of snack crackers, but none of them came in our sampler box.)
THE OATMEALS-- I initially thought I'd have good things to report about the oatmeals, but I'm afraid I just can't do it. We received a box of maple & brown sugar and a box of apple cinnamon, with a freebie packet of blueberry thrown in. Don't get me wrong, the first bite you take of the oatmeal--whichever flavor, really--is just heavenly and you say to yourself, "Oh, that's really really good stuff. I could eat that for breakfast every day! I'm gonna be just fine on this diet after all." Each subsequent bite, however, offers diminishing returns that can be violent in the suddenness of their appearance, depending on the flavor. Even with that first delicious bite, there's a bitter aftertaste that you may not even notice unless you're looking for it. Then, with each subsequent bite, that aftertaste gets stronger until the final bites are nothing but aftertaste. It's like the flavoring has a half life of about a minute. This is especially true for the apple cinnamon flavor, but to a slightly lesser degree in the maple & brown sugar. (Blueberry flavor, for me, wasn't enjoyable on any level from the start, but I might not have added enough water to it.) In fact, while writing this, I just went and ate a maple & brown sugar (different day from the mid-morning meal of the chocolate mint bar mentioned above) to see if I could quantify what made it awful. It certainly wasn't quite as awful as the apple cinnamon that I ate the other morning, but still far from great by the end of the bowl. Don't think I'll order any more breakfast cereals.
THE PUDDINGS--the sampler came with a box of chocolate puddings and freebie packets of both vanilla and banana. Again, chocolate is best, though kind of slimy in consistency. Vanilla is like a concentrated form of the vanilla shake and not at all to my liking. Banana, which is my favorite flavor of pudding in real life, was not as good as the banana shake. I might order more chocolate pudding, but frankly I'd rather eat Jello.
Now, because we are not fans of a goodly portion of the above meal choices, a week or so back we made an emergency backup order of some of the other non-sampler-pack meals MediFast has to offer. Our goal was to help offset the ones we hate and hopefully find ones we like better that we can order more of down the line. I'm happy to say the experiment was a success.
(TO BE CONCLUDED...)
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