SpecsWar `09 Part II

(My apologies for the lateness of this entry. We took the niece to D.C. starting last Saturday and I forgot to set this thing to automatic posting.)

Okay, so my frames didn't actually explode so much as come apart in multiple places very quickly. First one of the double mounting bolts of the left temple broke, causing the lens to pivot on the remaining bolt. I super-glued that one. Then, on the very day I had scheduled my most recent eye exam, two months back, the nose-bar snapped, as did my glue job on the temple, causing everything to fall apart. As I said, it was a nice coincidence that I was already having my eyes checked, but it meant either being blind for two weeks or that I'd need to get some contacts to tide me over.

It had been nearly ten years since I'd last worn contacts, having lost my final pair of Acuvues to the ocean the summer after losing my glasses to it. (Are you sensing a pattern, yet?) Fortunately the local Borderland optometrist I'd chosen said they could roll with this new request easily and that great strides had been made in contacts for people with astigmatism in the last decade. They hooked me up with a trial pair of Air Optix Aquas, then the optical technician--let's call her Liz--helped me pick out some more rimless frames. The only brand they carried was Silhouette, which were a bit pricier than I liked, but I figured the insurance would take care of most of it. (Wrong.) And because the Silhouette frames didn't come with clip on shades, as my previous brand of rimless frames did (or, rather, you could buy some as extras, but they were nearly as expensive as a pair of frames themselves), I decided to take advantage of a buy one get one half off sale they were having and order some prescription sunglasses to boot. The only ones I really thought looked decent in the store, though, were some Chesterfields, and then only just barely. In retrospect, I shouldn't have bothered ordering frames I wasn't 100 percent satisfied with, but especially these. The Chesterfields have a big clunky CHESTERFIELD logo embedded in both temples and I must not have noticed it right off because I pretty much hate logos on clothing and glasses as a rule. As it turns out, though, my saving grace was found with those very logo-embossed temples.

Remember the bit about how I always tell optical technicians to order the longest temples possible? Well, true to form, I'd shown Liz how the temples in the Chesterfields were woefully too short and noted that she would need to order the longest they had for my pair. She said she wasn't sure they carried ones that were longer, but would call them up to ask and then phone me if there were any problems. She said if I didn't hear from her, expect them to be correct and in hand within a week.

A week later, Liz called to say my Chesterfields had arrived. Can you guess how short the temples were? Oh, very, I assure you. It was exactly as if Liz had taken the display frames I'd told her were too short and just put lenses in them anyway. (Which is what she'd done.) But I didn't realize this until I'd returned home with them, because there was no point in wearing them home as I'd driven over wearing my contacts. I phoned Liz up and had to leave a message regarding the temples of inadequate length. She must have checked the notes in my file at some point and saw her own notation to order longer ones, for she was very accommodating when next we spoke. Turned out Chesterfield didn't make longer temples, which we would have known had she called them like she said.

I came in to pick out new frames and found some nice ones before long. They were some display frames Liz had just received and she said I could have them in a week. Meanwhile my Silhouettes came in and were wonderful to behold and with temples of the correct length.

Two weeks later, I phoned to ask about my promised sunglasses. Liz explained that the frames and lenses had arrived but that a screw was stuck in the frames and she couldn't release them to me in that condition so she'd reordered the frames. She should have them by the end of the week.

The following Monday I phoned again. Still delayed, she'd let me know.

Another week passed and I phoned again. Again, we were looking at some delays. I'd be the first to hear any news.

So, after a full month of waiting had gone by I was pissed off. Actually, I was pissed off long before that, but I was nearly willing to alert Liz to my level of pissed-offedness. Until that point I had been sickeningly sweet to her in all our interactions. I played phone tag with Liz for a day before she called back. When she did it was to say that my frames were not in, they hadn't technically even been released to the public and wouldn't be until June 16. I could either wait, pick out some new ones or get a refund. At this point, barely two weeks away from June 16, I decided I'd invested too much time to give up, so I opted to wait.

On June 16 I received no word from Liz. That evening, we left for the beach, during which I lost my Silhouettes in the drink.

(TO BE CONTINUED...)