Actual Telephone Conversations Heard at My House #6

*RING*

ME-- (ANSWERS PHONE) Hello?

(SILENCE)

ME-- Hello?

MATT THE STONER TELEMARKETER-- Hello?

(PAUSE)

ME-- Hello?

MATT THE STONER TELEMARKETER-- Um, yeah. MR. AARON?

ME-- That's me.

MATT THE STONER TELEMARKETER-- Hi. This is Matt, with API.

ME-- Uh huh.

MATT THE STONER TELEMARKETER-- We just wanted to call to tell you we'd like to send you a $1000 online gift certificate.

ME-- I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I have a strict policy here of accepting no solicitation over the phone.

MATT THE STONER TELEMARKETER-- (PAUSE) Um... This isn't soliciting. (ANOTHER PAUSE) Um... what's soliciting?

ME-- Selling things over the phone.

MATT THE STONER TELEMARKETER-- Oh, no. We're not selling anything. I thought for a minute there you meant soliciting, like on TV shows... you know, like, with hookers.

(SILENCE AS I ALLOW THIS TO SINK IN)

MATT THE STONER TELEMARKETER-- Uh, hello?

ME-- Yeah, um, listen, this still sounds like something I'm not going to be interested in.

MATT THE STONER TELEMARKETER-- Oh, no, it's really great! It's...

ME-- You have a nice day, Matt.

*CLICK*

(Still not sure who API is. Maybe the American Petroleum Institute offering a bribe for a survey?)